Yes! It is true! I heard from a friend of a friend who is a Bull Gator who knows someone who knows someone who read on Twitter that Santa Claus is indeed coming to town as the new Florida Gator head ball coach! It must be true. I saw it on Facebook.
Rumors are rampant throughout the Gator Nation. Chris Petersen. Dan Mullen. Bobby Stoops. Gus Malzahn. Gary Patterson. Bobby Petrino. Steve Addazio. Kyle Whittingham. Josh McDaniel. Everyone seems to know who is the next Gator head coach. The truth is that nobody knows who it will be! Not Florida Athletic Director Jeremy Foley, not University of Florida president Bernie Machen, not Urban Meyer, and not the savior himself, Tim Tebow.
Enough with the rumors already! Nobody knows. All the Gator fans have their own favorites. The non-Gator fans have their non-favorites. I get it, people are tired of the Florida Gators. That is no reason to go around attacking Gator fans, as if WE had something to do with how the Florida football team dominated college football for the better part of the past 20 years. That certainly is no reason for Gator fans to go around attacking other Gator fans. What happened to In all kinds of weather, We'll all stick together, for F-L-O-R-I-D-A?
Let's try some rumor control here. We all have our own "list" of preferred Meyer successors. We do not get a say in the matter. We get whomever Jeremy Foley selects. Here is my assessment of the rumors, graded on how I perceive the rumors to be realistic. I am not asserting my own favorite, just my perception of the validity to the rumors.
Steve Addazio, Florida (AHC, OC, OL Coach) - B. Yes, I give him a higher grade than most. Addazio does not know Xs and Os, but he knows recruiting and he could keep the ship afloat. The Dazzler may "suck" as OC, but the Sugar Bowl showed he could function well as HC as long as he delegated the Xs and Os to someone like Loeffler or Azzani. I doubt Jeremy Foley offers the job to Addazio, since this is a high pressure job better suited for someone with head coaching experience. Perhaps with Meyer staying as a consultant, the risk of Addazio failing could be mitigated.
Zach Azzanni, Florida (WR Coach). C. Sure, he is the de facto offensive co-coordinator for Florida, but he lacks HC experience. He does have a lot of experience with Meyer, having served with him at Bowling Green. I like this guy a lot and I hope he lands a good job as OC somewhere, but I doubt it will be at Florida. Any big name HC that comes here would likely not keep Azzanni.
Kerwin Bell, Jacksonville State (HC, OC) - B. What he lacks in Tier 1 HC experience he makes up for in Gator Pride, Gator ties, and mojo. What are really after is mojo. Urban Meyer had it. Steve Spurrier had it. Bell turned a nobody Jax State into a lower division powerhouse, going 9-4 and earning a share of the Pioneer League championship. Why not come home, Coach Bell? Jeremy Foley probably would not settle for a coach with limited HC experience, especially since Bell has only coached one year of Division 2 football and some high school. Can he handle the pressure cooker of Gator head coaching? Doubt it. He needs more Division 1 experience under another coach, maybe as an OC or as HC of a smaller Division 1.
Gene Chizik, Auburn (HC) - A-. He graduated from UF in the 1980s, but he would not leave Auburn when they are on the cusp of building a new orange and blue dynasty. He could change his mind if Auburn winds up getting NCAA sanctions between now and New Year's. Otherwise, squash this rumor.
Stan Drayton, Florida (RB Coach) - C. He is too low on the Meyer pecking order.
Larry Fedora, Southern Miss (HC) - D. He was an OC for Ron Zook. Need I say more? This kind of HC experience at Southern Miss would not help him at Florida.
Billy Gonzales, LSU (WR Coach) - C. He left after frustration over not being promoted within Meyer's system. He will likely stay put and grow within the Mad Hatter's system.
Jon Gruden (ESPN) - A. Sure. It would be nice, but I doubt Chuckie leaves his cushy job in the office for the Swamp. He knows how to win, but this is a high stress job close to his Florida home. Second thoughts, Chuckie? His name will stay atop the rumor mill, but Foley would rather not snag a former NFL coach.
Jim Harbaugh, Stanford (HC) - B. Everybody wants Harbaugh. It won't happen. Florida is too far from his home. It won't happen. Nice rumor, though. Harbaugh would only leave Stanford for his alma mater.
Chuck Heater, Florida (DC) - C+. Other than Addazio, Heater is the only one left from Meyer's original staff. He has performed well during all this turnover and he deserves a good job, but it won't be as HC--at least not at Florida.
John Hevesy, Mississippi State (OL and Running Game). B+. He served well under Meyer, but he would work better in tandem with Dan Mullen. Nope.
Brady Hoke, San Diego State (HC) - B-. He knows Bernie Machen. His brother coached for Spurrier. He is up-and-coming. It won't happen. HC at San Diego State is not high enough profile.
Dana Holgorsen, Oklahoma State (OC) - B. Rumor has it that he has been talking to UF about a job. He vehemently denied talking to UF about an OC job. Perhaps he was interviewing for the HC job? Brilliant offensive mind. His coaching will help John Brantley immensely. There are question marks on his ability to HC and gather a coaching staff. I like this option, but he does lack that criterion of HC experience.
Brian Kelly, Notre Dame (HC) - A. He was okay with talent at Cincinnati and Notre Dame. Imagine what he could do at Florida with this talent. This is a respectable rumor.
Chip Kelly, Oregon (HC) - A-. Chip runs an offense similar to Florida's. This guy is rather busy now for an interview, so this won't happen. Florida could pay him more, but Chip Kelly is a stand-up guy that would not abandon Oregon now. He really is a nice guy and he deserves a chance to build up the Oregon dynasty. As much as I like the guy, I think he will stay in Oregon even if offered $4M a year.
Mike Leach, CBS College Sports - A. He certainly would boost the Florida offense, but most of his former coaches are gone now and I have seen no signs that Leach is interested in coaching anytime soon. He would be good, but this probably will not happen. This is a plausible rumor.
Scot Loeffler, Florida (QB Coach) - B. I actually like him a lot, but more as OC than as HC. He helped put together a great game plan at the Sugar Bowl last year, and he has coached some great QBs, but I doubt he has enough experience now to be the head Gator. I hope this guy lands a good job as an OC somewhere if he is not kept in the next Gator staff.
Gus Malzhan, Auburn (OC) - B. He runs a similar spread as Meyer. Brantley would struggle mightily under Malzahn, but a dual-threat QB would be great. I have mixed feelings on this guy. Is he that good, or is Cam Newton that good? Either way, he turned Cam into something that Dan Mullen could not. I would welcome him to Gainesville. He does lack HC experience, so I doubt Foley interviews him as HC.
Greg Mattison, Baltimore Ravens (DC) - A-. He lacks HC experience, but he has been exposed to some great HCs and could have learned a lot. He worked under Urban Meyer, including the 2006 National Championship team. He would be a nice change from our normally offensive-mind coaches, but he would need to bring a good offense or keep the status quo. I like this option as long as Addazio goes. This one is a quieter rumor because Mattison is an NFL coach, and he lacks HC experience.
Josh McDaniel, Denver (HC) - B. True. Bill Belichik did send McDaniel on a few trips to scout out the Gators offense while Tebow was there. However, Foley stated that is not after an NFL coach. Besides, look what little he did at Denver.
Urban Meyer, Florida (HC) - Come baaaaaaaack! Just kidding. I do understand his reasons, and I wish him the best. I was not on the "Fire Coach Meyer" bandwagon and I thought he would come back strong in 2011. This was a total shock to everyone, but I commend him for making a decision that was best for himself and his family. Heck, if I got his paycheck, I would quit and spend time with my family as well.
Dan Mullen, Mississippi State (HC) - A. This is everyone's obvious choice and probably is the hottest rumor. Since there are a million blogs touting this guy as the next Gator coach, it must be false. He wants to stay in the relative quiet of MSU and just get some 8-win seasons and occasional bowl bids. Low stress.
Will Muschamp, Texas (DC) - A-. I am sure he is tired of being referred to as Mack Brown's replacement-in-waiting. He is the only Texas coach I would consider, because he has real experience. In the SEC. He will probably stay with the Short Horns, but he is a viable rumor.
Gary Patterson, TCU (HC) - A-. If it were not for TCU moving to a BCS AQ division, he would be a hands-on favorite to jump ship for a BCS AQ team loaded with talent. The latest move pretty much obligates Patterson to build the TCU empire.
Chris Petersen, Boise State (HC) - A. Certainly a Gator fan favorite, Petersen would not even have to change his colors. I would ask that he not paint our field blue. One day he will get tired of winning a lot of games but being excluded from the Big Dance, but I think he is stubbornly stuck to BS U. I like him, but I do not see him leaving. He is a family guy, and he can see what happened to the last family guy that moved to Florida.
Bobby Petrino, Arkansas (HC) - C. Yeah, he would do well here. I am tired of seeing his name on these lists. Besides, Petrino signed a contract extension recently. No dice. Otherwise, he would be atop the rumor list.
Gary Pinkel, Missouri (HC) - B+. He can win with nobodies. He would do well with these recruits. I do not know much about the guy, but he pops up on everyone else's radar so I gave him a cursory look. He meets the criteria. Watch for his market buzz to climb as we eliminate candidates who sign contract extensions with other teams.
Brian Scottenheimer, Jets (OC) - B. He walked on as a QB under Spurrier. This guy is more of an NFL coach. Foley is not going after an NFL coach.
Mike Shanahan, Redskins (HC) - C. He was the Gator OC about a hundred years ago. He would work well here, but we can't pay him enough, and he is old enough to be everyone's grandfather, maybe great-grandfather. Speaking of being old, don't think Kyle Shanahan will come here either. He is not much older than some of the players on the team.
Bob Stoops, Oklahoma (OC) - A+. Bobby was a DC on the 1996 Gator's national championship team. He has a home near G'ville, but he also has a mansion in Norman. He has been turned down twice by Florida, so I don't see him leaving Oklahoma. I cannot recall the last time I saw a coach lateral directly from a Tier 1 school to another Tier 1 school, at least not cleanly. This is a very plausible rumor, if the price is right. That price will likely be $5M/year or more.
Charlie Strong, Louisville (HC) - A-. Sure, he has strong Gator ties as a graduate assistant at UF in the 1980s and as assistant in the 1990s and 2000s, but Louisville fits him just fine.
Kevin Sumlin, Houston (HC) - B+. Nice offense, and nice head coaching. He has impressed Jeremy Foley. I don't see it happening. He might be a third-tier choice.
Kyle Whittingham, Utah (HC) - A+. Former DC under Meyer at Utah. He knows how to take over for Meyer. He has a strong background in defense, and he knows some of the current Gator staff. Nice fit. I would take him in a heartbeat. This option fits the "keep Urban as an advisor" scenario.
Ron Zook, Illinois (HC) - Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Ha.
With all the rumors flying around, it is anybody's guess as to whom will replace Urban Meyer. Be careful with the rumors.
Before I sign off, I do want to say that I wish Urban Meyer the best in all his future endeavors. He has served the Gator Nation well and he deserves our respect and our support as he transitions into the next phase of his life. Go Gators!
On a final note, I will start my own rumor. Santa Claus is going to be the next Florida Gator head coach.
